Lunatic

There's a lunatic thumping around in my attic
Pounding the walls and upending the chairs
Although he's not evil but only deluded
I certainly hope that he won't come downstairs

I've tried to placate him with chocolate and whiskey
But it just doesn't seem he's so easily bought
He frantically leaps from one thing to another
This is harder by far than I would have thought

And so I must tame this crazy old lodger
Perhaps with hypnosis or possibly gin
He frightens the neighbours and occasionally smells
Now is the time I have to begin

And so I sat quietly and tried hard to calm him
I offered him drafts of sweet chamomile tea
And as we were talking it dawned on me slowly
This crazy old bugger was apparently me