Archie was an ugly man
Of quite unpleasant face
His nose looked rather ill at ease
And slightly out of place
In fact his nose was quite depressed
And feeling out of sorts
And though it never said too much
Had suicidal thoughts
Archie never had a clue
Of his nose's mental state
But sometimes wondered why it had
Become so quiet of late
It was late on Tuesday evening
When the fire was burning low
That Archie's nose decided
That it was time to go
So striking out upon its own
It started a new life
Finding happiness at last
With an earlobe for a wife
Youth is wasted on the young
We've always known that's true
And so I have a simple plan
For what we need to do
Remove their youth is what I say
Excise it surgically
Put it in a bottle
And inject it into me
Tiger, tiger burning bright,
Who was it who set you alight?
From where I sit, it seems that that's
Cruelty to pussy cats!
Fetch some water quickly, dear
Fetch it fast and bring it here
A meaning new without a doubt
To putting that poor pussy out.
Evolution marches on
What's here today may soon be gone
And as the aeons on doth roll
Evolution takes its toll
On creatures past their use-by date
So you better watch out, mate,
If stupidity's extinction's sign
Then you could be the first in line!
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